I don't understand

One day while I was driving in KL, I was stuck in a massive traffic jam. The traffic was almost at a standstill, so everyone lined up properly in their own lane (miracle huh?) doing nothing but to stare at the stupid traffic jam ahead.

Suddenly I heard a loud siren coming from behind, a guy wearing a white uniform, riding a white, expensive powerful bike swerved in front of the traffic ahead. So I thought, finally, a policeman is coming to save the day by doing something that he does best to ease the stupid traffic jam.

How wrong was I, instead of easing the traffic jam, the policeman turned on his speaker on his bike, shouting furiously to all the cars:"Beri laluan, beri laluan!!!" (Give way).

The policeman then directed all the cars to move to the side of the road, leaving a big, empty car lane in the middle of the road. Everyone on the road was forced to the side of the road, creating a worse traffic jam.

Then, a fleet of the same big bike drove on the "cleared" road, making sure everyone was at the side of the road. Following behind the big bikes was a Volvo XC90 police car, all with their sirens on to the max. Behind the XC90 was a big, luxurious car, inside the car was someone who is the VVVVVVVVVVIP of the country. Behind the car was another XC90 police car and some big bikes making sure no one is taking advantage of the cleared road by following them behind.

After the VVVVVVVVVVIP gone past the traffic, we, the dispensable small time citizens are back to our miserable traffic jam again.

10 minutes later, I heard another siren coming from behind. This time it was an ambulance, alone. No big police bikes and XC90 to clear the road for the ambulance.

The pity ambulance had to squeeze in the middle of the traffic jam. I quickly gave way to the ambulance, but some drivers who forgot to bring their brains out that day stayed in the middle of the road, blocking the ambulance's way.

The ambulance had to on the siren to the max, while honking all the way through the traffic, the ambulance driver even had to open the window and swing his hand frantically so that those brainless drivers saw his hand and gave way.

To make matters worse, some drivers who did bring their brains out today but mistakenly shove their brains inside their assholes instead of their head followed behind the ambulance, taking advantage of the road cleared by the ambulance, this created a worse traffic jam as the cars that initially gave way to the ambulance cannot get back to the road.

In the end, the ambulance used more than 15 minutes just to drive past the traffic jam, to compare with the VVVVVVVVVVIP who used less than 30 seconds, it was very very slow.

You might think, the VVVVVVVVIP was an important person to the country, if he's late for some important meetings or opening ceremonies, our country might be conquered by the aliens. So, using a mass resources of the country to clear the road for the VVVVVVVVVVIP is very important.

So what about the ambulance? Someone is dying in the ambulance you know?

OK lah I agree that both human life and VVVVVVVVVVIP's meetings are equally important, at least in Malaysia, but why the VVVVVVVVVVIP can get so many resources to clear the road but not for the ambulance?

I am not saying that the VVVVVVVVVVIPs shouldn't get that kind of treatment, I am trying to suggest that if all the VVVVVVVVVVIPs can "donate" at least 1 police bike to assist the ambulance to clear the road, maybe hundreds of life can be saved.

The resources are there, but the distribution of resources are not properly distributed to those who need it so much.

I believe that something can be done here to address this problem. It's human life that we are talking about here. And for those drivers who are stubborn by not giving way to the ambulance, next time please bring your brain out, and put it in your head, not in your asshole.

My shopping list

This is my shopping list:

- A condo with full facilities
- A family car - Porsche Cayenne Turbo S
- A weekend track car - Ferrari F430 Scuderia
- Blu-ray DVD player
- 72 inch LCD TV
- PS3
- Xbox
- A high end home theater system
- A few watches
- A few jeans
- iPhone
- A few sets of working attire
- Laptop bag
- 2 well trained German Shepherds
- Nikon DSLR camera
- Underwater camera
- High end CPU
- Sports shoes

And the list goes on and on...
Shit I think I won't be able to afford 90% of the items in the list in the near future...

Feng Shui

Feng Shui is getting more and more popular nowadays.

So it’s a great marketing opportunity for those business minded people, lots of people made buckets of gold by selling Feng Shui related products and services. For example: Lillian Too.

For years I thought that Feng Shui is only limited to your house’s design or arrangements, but when I went to shop for some groceries in Tesco one day, I found this…

A Feng Shui broom.

As stated on the broom’s cover, it is said as a good Feng Shui broom as it’s size and materials used are in accordance with the good Feng Shui guide, something like that lah…

Out of curiosity, I bought one so that I can bring more Feng Shui to my house. I hope so…

Seriously, I don't understand why they used this aunty as their ambassador...

I think a few years later we will have Feng Shui car, Feng Shui handphone, Feng Shui watch, Feng Shui clothes, Feng Shui underwears, Feng Shui haircut, Feng Shui food, and so on…

How to learn mandarin

I came through this on the internet, it's about an American's note in a mandarin class.

I can say that his or her method of "memorizing" the mandarin words is damn funny.

The note goes like this:

Dear Tim,

shall by too dull doll by too jack won,

dolphin long can Jim shall by too low,

shall by too when dull low, doll car low,

dolphin long doll Ham Eason

“more power!”


Here's the original mandarin version:

第二题

小白兔到大白兔家玩，

大灰狼看见小白兔了，

小白兔闻到了，逃开了，

大灰狼大喊一声

“莫跑！”

I don't know what to say, really.