Penang cops learn Hokkien

I found this news when I was si pek bored in office.

From The Star.

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Penang cops learn Hokkien

GEORGE TOWN: Do not be surprised if a Malay or Indian policeman stops you on the street and speaks in fluent Hokkien.

This is because Penang police have been offering a Hokkien dialect course to their personnel.

State police chief Deputy Comm Datuk Wira Ayub Yaakob said a three-month course had been drawn up to teach the personnel better communications skills, especially in a state where Hokkien is widely spoken.

He said the first batch of 35 policemen of various races had already gone through the course which started in August and ended recently.

Another lesson, to be carried out by a professional tutor scheduled to be held thrice weekly, will start in November.

“Most people in Penang speak Hokkien. However, the ratio of Hokkien speaking policemen and the population in the state stands at 1:6,000 and this is not good.

“By having the Hokkien lessons, there would be better communication between the police and the people,’ he said at a press conference to announce his appointment as Malaysia Crime Prevention Found­ation (Penang chapter) deputy chairman.

DCP Ayub said the rapport between the policemen and the public could indirectly grow closer when they are able to speak confidently in the dialect.

“The policemen and officers, especially the young ones, will be sent for such training so that they are able to converse in the dialect,” he said.

He said they would also try to rope in language experts from Universiti Sains Malaysia to conduct courses in other languages, so they can communicate with tourists.

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Well, this is interesting, it's a good thing for the cops to learn another language because this undoubtedly can help them communicate well with those uncles and aunties who cannot speak Malay or English fluently.

But what happen if you are stopped by a cop who tries to get duit kopi (bribe) from you for speeding 1km/h more than the speed limit of 35km/h?

You (Winding down your car window): Soli la boss, I kejar masa ma, boleh bagi chance tak? (Sorry boss, I was in a hurry, can you give me a chance?)

Cop: Lu zhai lu hua jin nia kuai bo? (Do you know that you drove very fast just now?)

You (Mouth wide opened): Wah lu aa hiao kong hokkien ar?" (Wow you know how to speak hokkien?)

Cop: Of kos, zheng hu ho wa lang ki hokkien klass ma. (Of course, government gave us the chance to go to Hokkien classes.)

You: Wah zheng hu jin gao ar. (Wow the government is very clever.)

Cop: Lu mai ka wa kap siao, dong kim be uan zua settle? (STFU, how to settle things now?)

You: Zap ko aa sai bo? (Ten Ringgit, can?)

Cop: Ki chia sai la lu, zap ko lim pek ki chia KFC pun bo kao. (Go eat shit, ten Ringgit isn't enough for me to eat KFC.)

You (Sweating): Sa zap ko kao bo? (Thirty Ringgit enough or not?)

Cop: LKKK, dong kim market plice go zap ko lu zhai bo? (Go to hell, do you know that the market price is now fifty Ringgit?)

You (Sweating profusely): Go zap ko aa ne zhe? (Fifty Ringgit so high?)

Cop: Lu mai ho wa lang ki balai lim kopi lu ai bo? (If you don't want to give we can always go to the police station to have a coffee.)

You (Fed up): Ok la ok la, go zap ko lo. (Ok, Ok, fifty Ringgit it is.)

You then slip the fifty Ringgit note in between your IC and driving license and pass to the cop.

Cop: Ok, kam sia, aa bai mai hua aa ne kuai. (Ok, you can go now, next time don't drive too fast.)

You then happily wind up the window and get away without a three hundred Ringgit speeding ticket. On the other hand, the cop get away with fifty Ringgit tax-free extra income.

Some called this an investment of time and money as you don't have to find free time to queue up behind a long queue and pay the three hundred Ringgit speeding ticket.

Learning Hokkien will definitely help the cops and the people to communicate easier in Penang as most of the Penang people speak Hokkien.

Example shown above is a bad way to use Hokkien by the cops, I hope that the cops can be more efficient in their real job after they master Hokkien, helping us normal people to fight crime, like Batman, Superman, Ultraman, whatever it is.